Warrior Writers

Once upon a time there was a turtle and a rabbit who were friends. The rabbit said do you want to race? No, said the turtle. Then they got angry at each other. And then they were not friends anymore. Then the turtle said fine let’s do a race on the pavement. Then they started the race. And then funny bunny came and waved and said hi. The rabbit in the race kept stopping at people’s houses to get something to drink because he thought the turtle was too slow. The turtle won the race and got the orange for a prize. Then they were friends again.

by Taitum

The Turtle

There was a turtle that thought he was funny.  The other turtles didn’t think he was funny. On Saturday at he told a joke.  Everybody yelled at him and called him names. He was sad. He ran into the forest to cry. He noticed a bright orange magical fruit. He went over to it. It looked so juicy he couldn’t resist. He took a bite. He went back to the playground, told a joke and it was very funny. All the other turtles laughed and cheered him on. The turtle was happy. The other turtles followed him to the pavement and waved goodbye.

One day, the funny turtle asked the orange chipmunk to race across a desert and a pond.
So they raced. And raced. Across a desert and slept at an awasis. The next day they raced and raced until night. They went over to a market to eat breakfast. An then they raced until lunch. And raced until diner. Then they raced until they went to sleep. The next morning the tortes was gone eating breakfast. Then the chipmunk cout up to the tortes. The tortes were across the pond. The chipmunk lost the race.

By Micha

This is an organized first draft.  What suggestions do you have for next steps?

Goku and Kid buu. and the Turtle was walking around Goku and Kid buu were fighting Goku grabbed the Turtle the Turtle was orange  bit Goku and the Turtle got away and they tried to find the Turtle but they could not find him so they kept on fighting then the Turtle came back then Goku grabbed it then threw it at Kid buu then it turned evil then beat up Goku and Kid buu then they tried to run away but the Turtle found them and they found the Turtles weakness so his weakness was tickling so Kid buu and Goku the Turtle said don’t defeat me I will not harm anyone so Goku listed to the turtle then the turtle said ok do you want to be friends now the turtle said lets go to my house do you want to play a board game the turtle was funny then Goku went home the turtle waved goodbye.

by Isaak

This is a first draft.  What should be next to work on?

The orange boy went to the pet store to buy a turtle and we r gunna walk on .the sidewalk and we got home and I mad the turtle laugh at my funny joke i feed. The turtle his name is Jeff hardy o and he is a baby turtle and he is kind takes a lot of naps and he is 1 year old Izzy likes to tack Jeff to the turtle park after a few years and now Jeff is 4 and Izzy gone to heaven and I said good by then Jeff was sad and he cried

This is a first draft.  What suggestions do you have for revisions?

Goku and raddix were fighting and a turtle walked by them and Goku defeated Raddix and Goku threw the Turtle and the Turtle turned in to a ninja and ran back and they were fighting and Goku did kiokentimes 20 and the Turtle dodged Kamehameha and he turned in to Bowser and defeated goku and Gohan found the dragon balls and Goku came back to life and went to find the Turtle and he found the Turtle and they were fighting Goku turned to supersaiyn 4 and did kamehameka and he hit the Turtle and the Turtle was  almost defeated  but Goku ran out of power then he did spirt bomb and defeated the turtle and the turtle came back alive and they were friends and they were funny and the turtle turned orange and the turtle had to leave and Goku waved goodby

by Damian

There was a train the train driver is a nectarine and they went to a tunnel it is a long tunnel and they came out in a 1000s of years everybody was dead because they never had food or water  they we trapped because it kept going and never stopped so  they died and aliens found the train 1000s years win the train stopped and had a party and big time rush was there to sing for the party and Beyonce said this is the best party and the train it was rusty and the aliens tried to move the train didn’t move.