This is a first draft. What suggestions do you have for revisions?
Goku and raddix were fighting and a turtle walked by them and Goku defeated Raddix and Goku threw the Turtle and the Turtle turned in to a ninja and ran back and they were fighting and Goku did kiokentimes 20 and the Turtle dodged Kamehameha and he turned in to Bowser and defeated goku and Gohan found the dragon balls and Goku came back to life and went to find the Turtle and he found the Turtle and they were fighting Goku turned to supersaiyn 4 and did kamehameka and he hit the Turtle and the Turtle was almost defeated but Goku ran out of power then he did spirt bomb and defeated the turtle and the turtle came back alive and they were friends and they were funny and the turtle turned orange and the turtle had to leave and Goku waved goodby
by Damian
Hi Damian, your story is full of energy with fights, ninja.., I enjoyed reading your story! Good work!
I think you should add periods. You have a great story with lots of action, good ideas, and a begining, middle, and end. It will read smoother with periods so you can take all the ands out. Great writting!