Turtle and Human

This is a first draft.  What should be next to work on?

The orange boy went to the pet store to buy a turtle and we r gunna walk on .the sidewalk and we got home and I mad the turtle laugh at my funny joke i feed. The turtle his name is Jeff hardy o and he is a baby turtle and he is kind takes a lot of naps and he is 1 year old Izzy likes to tack Jeff to the turtle park after a few years and now Jeff is 4 and Izzy gone to heaven and I said good by then Jeff was sad and he cried

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2 Responses to Turtle and Human

  1. Hannah team 100WC says:

    Hello, thank you for your 100WC entry, it was very imaginative. Be careful as in your story you change from writing in the first person to the third person! Also check your spellings are correct when you have finished writing. Keep blogging!

  2. Mrs. Kelli says:

    Your story was strong in the begining then got a little random toward the end. Read the story through and see if you can make the ending stronger. Look to on where you can add periods.

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