One day, the funny turtle asked the orange chipmunk to race across a desert and a pond.
So they raced. And raced. Across a desert and slept at an awasis. The next day they raced and raced until night. They went over to a market to eat breakfast. An then they raced until lunch. And raced until diner. Then they raced until they went to sleep. The next morning the tortes was gone eating breakfast. Then the chipmunk cout up to the tortes. The tortes were across the pond. The chipmunk lost the race.
By Micha
I felt quite exhausted by all the racing in your story. What a marathon race! You make it clear that time is passing, Micha, which makes your story interesting.
You mentioned ‘awasis’. This helped me imagine and desert-like surroundings in your story. Just so you know, the way this is spelt is actually ‘oasis’.
Well done!
I really liked the rhythm of this story, it had the feel of a traditional story, shared and kept alive from generation to generation by telling the story aloud. I was a little confused at the end of your story I was wondering whether this was due to a few typos. Double checking your story before publishing would help avoid this confusion.