Suzzy knows what she wants!

There was a girl named Suzzy. Suzzy always knows what she wants if Suzzys friend Sally wants a kitten,  Suzzy would say no a puppy is better at guarding the house but one day Suzzy didnt know what she needed for a fun day at school she went around town asking family and friends “Now what do I need?” Suzzy mother said, “Bring your puppy to school and something fun to do.”  Suzzy said “NO! I need  something awesome!” she smiled at the idea. Suzzy went to her room and work on something  what is it?  Everyone asked.  Suzzy come down in a pretty dress.

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5 Responses to Suzzy knows what she wants!

  1. Mrs. Kelli Hickman says:

    This story is great. I love the plot. My one suggestion in to proof read for punctuation.

  2. AR says:

    This is a very good story and I like the plot; to make it better you could try putting some dashes and semi-colons in it as this would make it amazing!

  3. Hello Zoia,

    This is a wonderful story. You had me wondering what Suzzy might have been working on when she went to her room. If Suzzy didn’t normally wear pretty dresses, it would have been a big surprise.

    Remember to reread your story before posting as there are places where you might have taken a new sentence. Whenever I write a short story, and that is often, I always have to reread my work as there are normally mistakes I had missed when writing. It’s an important thing for all good writers, such as you, to use to improve their work.

    I hope you continue entering the 100WC so you can share more of your stories. Well done! 🙂

    @RossMannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher, NSW, Australia

  4. karen says:

    i like it

  5. Amy (team 100wc) says:

    This was an interesting entry for the 100WC Zoia 🙂 I really like the way that you used the prompt within your writing, and you have used lots of speech too. To make it even better I think you should proof read your work because I think your work needed some more punctuation. Keep up the good work and I hope you continue to enter the 100WC 🙂

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