All I saw were two red eyes on the foot of my bed. I scream and pull my feet away. The eyes move even closer! It touched me, I scream so loud. I didn’t look up I was so, so scared so jumped out of bed. I tried to pull the door open but the door was locked and jammed like this was planned. My parents were laughing on the outside of my door. I turned around to see my brother and his new red glowing eyes in relief I sighed this was just a prank. Then to see him laughing.
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Great Story, i love the way you used the stimulus “all i saw were 2 red eyes and”
Hello Elena, your story was very frightening ,but next time use more words that stand out from your writing. e.g: I scream like a hyena, and pull my feet away.
When I said ‘ like a hyena’ It is a similie so try to use similies too! It was a distinctive story anyway.
Hi Elena,
Thank you very much for entering the 100 Word Challenge this week, I really enjoyed reading your work, even though it scared me quite a lot to begin with!
You have used some great vocabulary in your writing which makes it more powerful.
Keep writing.
Mrs Stones
great story really scary at the start and then it was good at the end.
i hope that did’nt really happen.
i hope to read more soon bye.
p.s. thank you for letting me read your story